Have you ever walked into a room and felt uneasy, even if no one spoke? Maybe you left a conversation feeling oddly tired and didn’t know why. Sometimes, another person’s excitement lifts your mood. Or a stranger’s sadness lingers with you long after they leave.
Most of us have had moments like this. We often find ways to explain them.
“I’m just tired.”
“It’s been a long day.”
“I’m probably imagining it.”
But what if something else is going on? What if some people naturally let more of the world in?
The World Doesn’t Stop at Your Skin
We often think of ourselves as separate from everything around us. We believe our feelings are only ours, and yours are only yours. The room is just a room.
But everyday life suggests something different.
A tense meeting can make everyone quiet. One anxious person can shift the mood at a family dinner. A joyful child can make strangers smile. We affect each other all the time. The real question isn’t if this happens, but:
How much of it enters you?
Like a Garden Fence
Picture two gardens. One is surrounded by a tall stone wall. The other has a low wooden fence with gaps between the posts. The same wind, birds, and rain reach both, but they enter each garden differently.
Our inner lives work in a similar way. Some people have stronger boundaries between themselves and the world. Others are more open, so more things come in, stay longer, and ask to be understood.
This is what I mean by Permeability.
It Isn’t Just Other People’s Feelings
When people hear the word “absorb,” they usually think only of emotions. But permeability is much broader than that.
You might take in the atmosphere of a place, the rush of a busy city, beauty, conflict, expectations, someone’s enthusiasm, silence, music, grief, or possibility. Sometimes you don’t even notice something has entered until much later.
A conversation might come back to you while you make tea. A place you visited can stay with you for weeks. A film can quietly change how you see life. Life often settles inside us in unexpected ways.
This Is Why Some People Feel Tired
People with high permeability often wonder why ordinary life feels surprisingly demanding.
It’s not always because something dramatic happened. Sometimes, they’ve just been taking things in all day—every conversation, every mood, every look, every small change. Much of this happens without us even noticing.
Think about carrying a backpack. Throughout the day, small stones are quietly added. One or two stones don’t make a difference, but by evening, the backpack feels much heavier than you expected.
Sometimes permeability feels like that.
Openness Is Not Weakness
Because people who are more open are easily affected, they often think they need to toughen up, stop caring, stop noticing, or build thicker walls.
Sometimes, stronger boundaries are needed. But closing yourself off isn’t the same as being strong.
Being open lets many beautiful things in too—wonder, music, love, connection, a sense of belonging, the calm of a forest, or the peace of sitting by the sea.
The aim isn’t to stop letting life in. It’s to know what truly belongs with you.
The Hidden Skill
As children, many of us were never taught the difference between
receiving
and
carrying.
We received another person’s anger. Then carried it.
We received someone else’s disappointment. Then carried it.
We received criticism. Then made it part of our identity.
It’s natural to receive things. Carrying them is a choice we often make without even noticing.
Learning the difference can change everything.
A Different Question
Perhaps you’ve spent years asking, “Why do I absorb everything?”
Maybe a kinder question is, “What naturally enters me, and what do I want to keep?”
Permeability is not a flaw to fix. It is one way human beings meet the world. Some people naturally receive more.
The invitation isn’t to close the gate. It’s to become the gardener.
Once you know what comes in, you can start choosing what stays.
